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Why are boundaries so hard?

Setting boundaries for ourselves can be difficult at times. We go throughout our days having to work, take care of families, and most importantly our own needs. It can seem like a lot! How do we set boundaries, and when is an appropriate time to do so? First off, it is important to know that boundaries are healthy. When we all grew-up we were provided a set of boundaries or rules from our parents, and now it is our time as adults to set the same. As the saying goes…”we have to take care of ourselves first, in order to help others in the end.” But how do we do that? We need to find out what we are able to physically, emotionally, and mentally handle in one day. Journal it, take note of it, and then consolidate it. Your energy is important!

Here are some simple tips to setting and developing boundaries:

-Understand where your stress is coming from;

-Talk to someone you trust. A mentor, a partner, your boss may also be a good option;

-Hold yourself accountable for self-care…remember that you are your best ally and worst enemy; and

-Recharge your batteries (e.g. enjoy a craft, go to the gym, watch a movie, spend time with loved ones, etc.)

Setting boundaries is always going to be a moving target, something you will have to evaluate and reflect upon throughout your career. Don’t get frustrated if it seems overwhelming at times. Just keep trying your best, and keep asking for help and lean on those you trust the most!  Are you looking to connect with a counselor to help you set these boundaries, or want to look in to the services we provide? Please feel free to give us a call to inquire at 716-710-5172 or online at www.

Cassandra Dunner, LMSW, CASAC-T

Erie County ACT Co-Occurring Specialist

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